“A mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant.” – Unknown

When I was in second grade, I was sort of a class clown. I remember feeling proud of myself because I could make the kids laugh, and I thought I was making an otherwise boring class more fun. Of course, that didn’t go well. I was shamed for being disruptive to the class. Many such things shape us in many areas of life—molding us to conform to societal norms and expectations. We grow up to seek external validation and recognition. We go on a quest to be smart. Unfortunately, we become afraid to make a fool of ourselves for the rest of our lives.

We study hard, learn facts, become more knowledgeable and appropriate not only to fit in, but also to be taken seriously and “succeed.” However, the paradox is that to become skillful and creative, we must embrace the inevitability of messing up. In life, you simply cannot be great at something if you cannot afford to make a fool of yourself. The opposite of being smart isn’t foolishness. Being smart means having the capability to learn and grow. You need to be willing to embrace continuous learning, accept mistakes as a fundamental part of the process, and recognize when you’re wrong. So, perhaps the opposite of being smart is not being vulnerable.

Danish physicist Niels Bohr said: “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.” In other words, the expert is the person who has made a fool of themselves many times over. Do you ever give yourself permission to look awkward, do embarrassing things, and be wrong? I think we should. I think we should consider having room for foolishness from time to time. It is not that you want to make a fool of yourself, but rather that you can. Here’s how:

A) Embrace Vulnerability

What happens when we make a fool of ourselves? Do we feel sad, ashamed, or exposed? We feel like fools when we feel judged, can’t control outcomes, or we’re surprised by them. But can we ever really control all of this? And what exactly are we so concerned to protect? We must learn to let go of the need to control outcomes and the need to protect our ego. When we embrace being vulnerable, we allow ourselves to engage with what really matters to us. If we make a fool of ourselves and feel bad about it, it’s only because we’re focusing too much on ourselves rather than the task at hand. Whenever you feel blinded by shallow judgments, remember to shift your focus from the short-term outcomes to your long-term purpose. 

In high school, I avoided taking interesting but difficult classes so I wouldn’t bring my grades down, which would have jeopardized my scholarship. In college, I couldn’t afford to tinker and play with intriguing software (the practical learning) because I focused on what I knew I would be tested on (the theory). I avoided learning because it meant added stress to achieve specific grades, and it made me feel vulnerable by not being in control. I also crammed information right before tests, got good grades, but it came at the expense of developing a deep understanding of the subject matter. Reflecting on these experiences, it’s made me think about just how poor the correlation between learning and grades can be.

The educational system prioritizes grades over genuine learning because they are what teachers, parents, and the state rely on to evaluate and compare student performance. Grades and standardized tests are a means to an end: college admission. This is all far from what it should be—a preparedness for lifelong learning and a fulfilling life. What would you say is real learning at its core? To me, it is an expansive and continuous source of curiosity, tinkering, critical thinking, and play, which consequently helps us grow our knowledge and build skills to tackle real-world problems. These intangible qualities, often referred to as soft skills, can make us feel vulnerable as they are harder to learn, measure, and assess. To truly learn, we need to let go of our attachment to outcomes and embrace the vulnerability inherent in the learning process.

It’s not that you need to seek to be vulnerable or uncomfortable. It’s about deciding that it’s okay if you do. You say: I can feel foolish, vulnerable, stupid, or uncomfortable and that’s fine. Instead of trying to be in control you pledge: to connect and to learn, to focus on the process, and to let go of the outcomes. Be the person who encourages yourself and others, and takes pride in the process—the learning, the work, your life. The results will take care of themselves.

When I worked at a corporation, I remember this mechanical engineer who most people disliked. He would show up at meetings relaxed, focused, and usually disagreeable. And he wasn’t afraid to be open and offered valuable input. He focused on the engineering regardless of how uncertain or how far we were to solving the problem. His ease with uncertainty unsettled those around him in a corporate world, which, much like the educational system, often demands fast results over the process.

B) Seek Purpose

It’s human nature to seek recognition and validation. Whether we like it or not, we need to market ourselves effectively. This is why we acquire skills: to add value, build resumes, and be desirable and employable. However, the nature of this problem is nuanced. There is nothing wrong with building yourself, but it’s how we go about it. Do we build ourselves in the eyes of others, or do we build ourselves keeping others in mind? Instead of clarifying who we are and what we believe in, we tend to search for answers externally. And because of this, we become incessantly reactive in life. In this state we’re never enough, and of course, ever afraid to make a fool of ourselves.

We work so hard to be someone that we paradoxically lose sight of what really matters. Imagine being clear about what you stand for. Imagine aligning your interests with your learning and work, and growing your skills and passions to make a meaningful contribution. How empowering is that? I believe a lot of our modern ailments are due to living purposeless lives—a rat race of sorts where we’re not enough, nothing’s enough, because we’re clueless as to where we’re heading, devoid of a powerful why to guide us.

We need to go from an endless quest for qualifications, validations, and recognition to an endless quest for purpose. Focus on how you can positively impact others from within. For example, becoming a teacher, an engineer, or a doctor can be daunting because you’re not one yet. But it could be a lot easier if you focused on who you already are: a person who inspires others to learn, loves to solve problems, or is passionate about preventing diseases. It’s about the process, your values, and figuring out why what you do (or will do) is bigger than yourself. That’s how you tap into the power of purpose.

C) Have Fun!

Richard Paterson, also known as “The Nose”, is a master distiller at The Dalmore Distillery. He’s one of the most respected figures in the Scotch-Whisky industry, but what’s even more interesting about him is his passion for the spirit. He has no problem looking “silly” when presenting his Scotch in guided tastings. In fact, it’s precisely because he makes drinking and learning about Scotch so fun that it inspired me to learn more about him—and whisky, of course. Check out these funny videos here and here.

We’ve been led to believe that learning is about proving what we’ve learned, which is why we were graded for decades. While grades help teachers assess our understanding, they ultimately form a negative habit centered around proving ourselves. Instead, we could cultivate much healthier learning habits by encouraging a love for learning. Learning should be about having fun because the more we enjoy it, the more we’ll practice and become interested in learning even more—a virtuous cycle.

But what about when learning gets hard or we can’t make progress? When faced with difficulties, we can figure things out because we’re intrinsically motivated. When learning isn’t pushed, we’re naturally invested in it. Remember, obstacles and setbacks don’t define you. There’s nothing to prove, only an expanding interest to learn more. Just like Richard Paterson begins tastings by swirling expensive Scotch Whisky and tossing it to the ground, you should also toss any harsh judgments away. Enjoy the process. If it’s fun and interesting, you’ll pursue it. Granted, some important learning may not always be fun, but if you find it important enough (purpose), you’ll tackle it anyway.

In conclusion, once you disassociate learning/performing from being right (or being someone), you’ll notice it becomes easier to be wrong. Being wrong or getting temporarily stuck was never about you! At this point, you surrender to your learning, to your work, and to your passions. When we recognize and accept this new learning – performing – growing trifecta, we alleviate a lot of the burdens that come with them.

Is there really a reason to be fearful about making a fool of yourself if it’s really not about you? At this point, you’re comfortable with yourself, you know what you stand for, and you know who you serve. Do not be afraid to make a fool of yourself. What happens externally matters little. Don’t let it stop you from a life filled with connection, purpose, and fun. Embrace the process and forget the results. Be a fool now if you must. Delight us with your work later!