They say, “Don’t live in the past, or you’ll be depressed,” and “Don’t live in the future, or you’ll be anxious.” Some people say, “Live at peace in the present.” They say, “Live in the moment.” And “The present is a gift”. My question to you is: What do you think about that? Discarding the past or the future (as much as the present) is delusional. First, we must understand that each time frame has costs and benefits. No one is better than the other. Having said that: How can we embrace the benefits of the past, present, and future? And how can we better manage the challenges in each time frame to live a better life?

Past     

There’s no question that the past can be a tricky time frame. In the past, you can find both sources of strength and sorrow—some memories that you cherish and others that disappoint you. Why would you want to revisit the past? Certainly, if you go to the past to ruminate or compare yourself unreasonably, you’ll give yourself a hard time. If you give the past the power to label you negatively in any way, then it can hold you back. While past failures can be stressful, they can be empowering if you learn something from them or address them. I can see why there are so many sayings about being in the present. The past can cause us to lament missed opportunities, feel trapped by labels, or fear change.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can believe in change and embrace it. Considering the past with the intent to take action and grow as a result is powerful. The past holds power. If Sapiens didn’t find a way to pass on the learning from the mistakes of the past, where would we be? If we look at the past deliberately to learn, change a behavior, or take action, then the past can be a gift too. Choosing to take action to learn and grow from your experiences is always within your reach.

We often say things like “I’ll make it up to you”. We recognize that in the past, we might have done or failed to do things that we’d like to change. The past can both hold and release power. But you need to rethink the past. The past is not only where you can learn from, but also a source of potential energy for your future. It shouldn’t hold you down unfairly—instead, it should motivate you to improve and help you grow. I’m not suggesting you dwell on old painful memories, but rather that you find the strength and empowerment in them.

In Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration, Ed Catmull, President of Pixar Animation and Disney Animation, writes: “Being open about problems is the first step toward learning from them. My goal is not to drive fear out completely, because fear is inevitable in high-stakes situations. What I want to do is loosen its grip on us. While we don’t want too many failures, we must think of the cost of failure as an investment in the future.” Often, what holds us back from trying new things is our reluctance to make mistakes instead of learning from them. Catmull invites you to think about mistakes differently: “Mistakes aren’t a necessary evil. They aren’t evil at all. They are an inevitable consequence of doing something new (and, as such, should be seen as valuable; without them, we’d have no originality).”

Future

The future has been misunderstood and under attack lately. It is misunderstood because thinking about the future is often perceived as a distraction. But being distracted is being nowhere. Deliberately thinking about the future, however, can help you imagine what could be. The future holds possibilities. The challenge with the future is that you can imagine both desirable outcomes and failed ones. Imagining failure and loss can make us anxious or worried.

However, we must understand that uncertainty and change go hand in hand. If we envision undesirable outcomes, let’s make it a point to address them instead of worrying about them. There’s always a gap, and we’re always changing. But the imagined future is worth creating—worth working towards—because that’s where you can become a better version of yourself. That’s where you can grow, innovate, and improve to add the most value to yourself and others.

I like how Peter Thiel puts it in his book Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future: “In the most minimal sense, the future is simply the set of all moments yet to come. But what makes the future distinctive and important isn’t that it hasn’t happened yet, but rather that it will be a time when the world looks different from today. In this sense, if nothing about our society changes for the next 100 years, then the future is over 100 years away.”

Nobody can predict the future, but you have the power to shape it through your actions. By envisioning an inspiring future and working towards it, you can reinvent yourself and continue to enjoy what you do (and will do). The key is to stay alert and remain flexible, ready to change paths when unexpected opportunities or setbacks arise.

Present

And the present is no different. With so much information overflow, it is increasingly harder to focus. There’s so much to catch up on, so many personal expectations, and so much overall distraction that the present can be numbing. Being in the present deliberately, like the past and the future, means making an effort to use your time wisely. You enjoy your life with all its ups and downs. Enjoying the present does not mean wanting to control how you feel as it unfolds. It means believing you can handle whatever may happen.

The present is a gift. And it especially feels like a gift when you develop trust in yourself and are grateful in the now. To be present, to receive the gift of the present, you must admire, value, and honor the present as it is, with full acceptance. You let go of your expectations. But there’s more to the present. The present is where you both act to construct the future you imagine and learn from the past you have experienced. What a gift!

While the present can be elusive, you can be aware of this, grasp it, and do the things that are important to you. The deliberate present is difficult—full of struggles, but full of joys. It’s where you create, have setbacks, grow, get frustrated, and enjoy life all the same. Remember that the present moment is unique and invaluable. It’s a moment in time that will never be repeated.

In conclusion, becoming aware of the benefits of the past, present, and future empowers us in many ways. We understand that things won’t always go as planned, but that shouldn’t stop us from imagining a future and start creating it today. The present is about taking action, but perhaps most importantly, it’s about being patient and tolerant with ourselves. Things take time. There’s nothing wrong with living in any given time frame, as long as we remember to focus on what’s most important for us today: Can I learn something? Can I envision a better outcome? Can I be mindful and take a step forward?