A Guide to Meaningful Living

After decades of school defining my sense of purpose, the idea of finding myself seemed intriguing. I first came across this concept in Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within, where he discusses the importance of understanding your “why.” He explains that with a strong enough why, we can better navigate emotional struggles, overcome life’s obstacles, and remain committed to our goals. With a clear purpose, he argues, we can always find the “how.” Since then, I’ve read countless books on everything purpose-related: personal calling, starting with why, intrinsic motivation, higher purpose, and the true north—you name it. What I’ve come to realize is that the truth about finding purpose extends far beyond just self-reflection.

But first, what exactly is purpose? According to Oxford languages, purpose is: “The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” For millennia, humans have wondered about the underlying reason of our existence. Purpose has helped us cope by giving our lives meaning. Meaning is the result of living with purpose, a feeling that what you’re doing has significance and is fulfilling. So the question is: What if purpose isn’t a single destination? Is there a larger framework we can more easily relate to?

For the most part, finding my purpose has been tricky and elusive. What began as an intriguing quest eventually became quite frustrating. I wondered: Is there really just one why for my life? Am I really called to something in particular? Over time, I came to realize that purpose is not something you simply find—it’s also something you create, connect with, and cultivate in your life. And it’s not necessarily one thing or one big why.

The truth is, we’re all caught in a purpose paradox: the deeper we search for the big “why,” the more it seems to elude us. There’s a romanticized cultural narrative of searching to find yourself—somehow getting lost in nature or traveling on a far-off adventure, whether as a rite of passage for young adults or during mid-life crises. But purpose isn’t some magical thing waiting to be discovered. While adventures can certainly help us expand our horizons, finding purpose through inner reflection is just one pathway. The other purpose elements within this framework can help ease the tension by guiding us to live more purposefully now and recognize how we may already be doing so.

Imagine a purpose quadrant with four interconnected elements: Finding, Creating, Connecting, and Cultivating. The first two are sought internally, while the last two are external. Most of the literature about purpose is solely focused on the first quadrant—finding it. It’s also perhaps the most elusive, as we’ve seen. I believe purpose shouldn’t be this mysterious. These four quadrants represent unique yet interconnected pathways that can lead us to a meaningful and fulfilling life. Let’s explore these dimensions and uncover how they can guide us toward living with greater clarity and meaning.

I. Finding Purpose 

Finding purpose is essentially about self-reflection, discovery, and introspection. While this process can be exciting and potentially lead to uncovering deeper truths, it can also become frustrating as it can be very vague and open-ended.

There are many methods that can guide this self-discovery process. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator developed in 1962 remains one of the most popular personality tests. This test categorizes individuals into one of the 16 distinct personality types, each represented by a four-letter code combination from the following: Extraversion (E) vs. Introversion (I), Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F), and Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P). You can try taking a free test here or here.

There’s an abundance of different personality tests that can point out our preferences, strengths, and character traits. These tools provide valuable insights and, through introspection, help us understand how our unique qualities could align with our goals and aspirations. Beyond tests, one can practice mindfulness, read, write, seek compelling sources of inspiration, attend therapy, travel, and seek new experiences, and of course, engage in intentional self-reflection.

Perhaps one of the best approaches to self-reflection that I’ve come across is Simon Sinek’s book Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team. He suggests gathering 10 impactful memories that represent your biggest life-changing moments, then carefully choosing 5 or 6 and sharing them with as much detail as possible. The goal is not to find out who you aspire to be, but who you are at your natural best.

After you identify these themes from your stories, they then become the foundation of your deeper meaning. These memories or defining moments should uncover significant feelings. Then he urges us to draft and refine a “why statement.” It should be simple, clear, and actionable in the shape of the following formula: To (contribution) so that (impact of contribution). This becomes a statement of your value and calling. For the Insightful Bean it’s: To empower individuals to challenge conventional norms about education, finances, and personal growth, so that they can lead their lives with more freedom, confidence, and joy. While this why statement really resonates with me, it’s nuanced—oftentimes I emphasize the importance of honoring tradition.

Finding your purpose ultimately boils down to understanding what you value, your beliefs, and what makes you feel at your best. This would be your big why, the cause that drives you to want to wake up every morning excited to make progress. But what happens when we fail to find, state, or clarify our purpose? What if we’re left with more questions than answers? This is the why of this insight. The other quadrants will guide you in exploring your path toward purpose and meaning, while revealing how you may already be living a purposeful life in unconscious ways.

II. Creating Purpose 

Creating purpose is a lot easier in principle. Here, the aim is not to find purpose but to develop it through action. To some degree, you’ll still need to align your work with your core values so that what you create feels both meaningful and authentic. Here’s a list of the many ways we can create purpose:

• Start a business
• Develop a meaningful relationship
• Start a family
• Begin a project
• Create a product or service
• Volunteer for a cause
• Start learning a skill or skill-set
• Take on a challenge

Creating purpose is primarily about beginning, but it’s also about deepening a relationship, expanding a project, improving a product or service, or mastering a skill. Having said that, the premise remains simple: begin something, and purpose will naturally follow and evolve. However, none of this is easy. It demands a combination of time, resources, mentoring, grit, courage, know-how, and access to the right tools. And at some point, making progress will get inevitably hard and you will wonder why you’re doing it in the first place. In moments like these, relying on your core values can help guide you, as your vision and contributions gradually reveal your greater purpose. As far as creating purpose is concerned though, these creative beginnings and continued efforts most certainly lead to a very purposeful and rewarding life.

In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson’s “do something” principle illustrates this positive feedback loop clearly: “Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.” He elaborates that: “Your actions create further emotional reactions and inspirations and move on to motivate your future actions.” This is the same mindset behind creating purpose.

III. Connecting Purpose 

Connecting purpose is underrated in today’s world. The more we seek to find purpose internally, the more we tend to forget that many significant sources of purpose lie outside ourselves. This quadrant is all about connecting to a religious institution, a spiritual community, or really, any organized structure that aligns with your values. Beyond traditional sources like spirituality, we can also connect with nature or other often-overlooked places like the workplace, sports teams, or even political affiliations.

Although less common nowadays, many still find purpose through their professional lives. We can connect to certain corporations with whom we share common values. For instance, Nike’s core values are: Innovation, Authenticity, Inspiration, Inclusivity, Connectivity, and Distinctiveness. These values represent Nike’s organizational identity and could potentially represent yours as well. By identifying shared ideals, we can cultivate a sense of belonging and direction, aligning our values with a broader organizational vision and mission.

Less obvious however, is that we can also disconnect from certain identities. If any of these systems is not helping you live better for yourself and for others, you can certainly change it. Connecting with an external source should guide and empower you, bringing out the best of you. Blindly outsourcing your well-being and following others leads to fanaticism and all sorts of radical problems. Let’s not forget that the reason behind connecting purpose lies not just in what we gain personally, but in how these meaningful connections enable us to contribute.

You’ll know you have connected successfully when you feel personally empowered, aligned, and focused on your broader contribution.

IV. Cultivating Purpose

Cultivating purpose is the inspiration behind this insight. Over the years, I’ve had mixed results in finding my purpose. However, through creating purpose, I have grown skills in areas like chess, brewing, and writing, and as a result, discovered a deeper sense of purpose. Connecting has been challenging, mostly because of the rigid and dogmatic nature of many ideologies, yet it has remained valuable to me nonetheless. In this final quadrant, I’ve realized that instead of tackling purpose as a problem to be solved or an opportunity to be found—it may be more fulfilling to just cultivate it: to experience it, rather than to solve it.

The journey of cultivating purpose is not a destination, but a continuous process of being human and connecting with others—both of which can be achieved through human virtues. Historically, the role of education was solely to cultivate virtue. But why focus on virtues? Because a virtue, as opposed to a value, is beneficial for everyone. For instance, you could value material wealth, which may be important for you, but it isn’t necessarily morally good. Humility, in contrast, encourages us to recognize our limitations and to genuinely listen to other perspectives. This requires and cultivates respect and empathy, allowing us to connect better with ourselves and others. A virtue simply goes beyond oneself, beyond personal gain. To ultimately live with purpose, we must aspire for something greater than ourselves.

Consider these fundamental human virtues:

Courage	Temperance	Justice	Prudence	Empathy
Peace	Compassion	Humility	Patience	Responsibility
Acceptance	Diligence	Honesty	Generosity	Respect
Gratitude	Forgiveness	Kindness	Loyalty	Trustworthiness
Perseverance	Commitment	Resilience	Integrity	Authenticity
Modesty	Vulnerability	Curiosity	Optimism	Sincerity
Tolerance	Accountability	Faithfulness	Reliability	Wisdom

The goal is to choose three to five virtues. To do that, think of the qualities you admire or respect in others. Consider the moments when you have felt personally proud. What virtues did you embody? Alternatively, think of which virtues you have had a challenge with. However subjective, we all know what we would like to be more of. Overall, there should be some virtues that resonate with you—that call your name.

After selecting your virtues, write them down and bring them to life. Instead of having a vague virtue, make sure to define how it’ll look like for you in practice. And also, they should be defined in a way that does not depend on others to be exercised. For example:

• For gratitude, write: “Find appreciation, goodness, and lessons in every interaction I have.”
• For courage, perhaps: “Speak my mind even when it feels uncomfortable.”
• Instead of humility, clarify: “Listen carefully, learn from others, and be mindful of my limitations.”

Figure out a definition that feels right and is something you can quickly draw upon in everyday interactions. Then, find a tangible way to keep them present throughout your day. Practice one virtue per week. The goal is to jump right in and cultivate the virtues you chose. Rather than waiting for a grand revelation, cultivating virtue is something you can quickly start practicing in your life. Eventually, they will become part of your character. For each virtue, keep in mind how you can embody it and what small actions you might be able to undertake to honor it. Every virtue is about practicing both being human and connecting to what’s bigger than yourself. If you choose gratitude, be sure to read the article I wrote about it.

The goal isn’t to be virtuous—none of us are—but to practice virtue. With practice, we can slowly integrate our most needed qualities into our character. Like a victory garden, each virtue is a seed, consistent practice is the water and sunlight, and a sense of purpose is the crop. I believe that integrating virtues in our lives unlocks our hidden potential. Purpose isn’t just about feeling good, but about experiencing the full range of human emotions. It’s about feeling connected, with direction, and confident in your ability to be human. Virtues connect deeply within us and, indirectly, to others, providing us guidance and meaning in our lives.

Perhaps the biggest revelation is that purpose is not something you just find within, but something that emerges as you serve a cause greater than yourself. And what is that purpose, cause, or belief? It’s something we can find, create, connect to, or cultivate—but always transcending individual gain or achievement. Living with purpose is a constant dance between self-reflection and selfless action. It’s through this delicate balance, between your character traits, core values, and ability to contribute, that we surface the kind of purpose that gives deep meaning to our lives.